The Online Dump

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Attempt #2

“Tonight on 67.5 FM radio we’ll be bringing you the latest from the streets of L.A! The world’s celebrity capital!”

“Not too many celebrities here though, are there Q.G”

“None at all. Unless you count Brad Pitt!”

“Brad Pitt! The man is a living legend.”

“If living is what you’d call him doing!”

“Ahaha, well, he’s among the many. Not much celebrity status among the living dead is there?”

“I guess not. Unless you’re Britney Spears, her fans were brainless before being brainless was cool.”

“Spoken like a true Anti-hipster.”

“You know you love it.”

“THAT I DO. I think it’s time for the news. On the southbound, make sure to be aware of the rotting pile of dead non-zombie flesh. That’s right folks, for all you out there, (still alive) and not devoured! Make sure to get a taste of this, before the zombies do. Unless you like the taste of zombie meat, in that case, you’re pretty safe for winter!”

“But it doesn’t snow in L.A GQ!”

“It does now! Reports from those scientists holed up in Canada somewhere say that they are as warm as a penguin in Mexico! All the snow is heading over to our direction, what do you have to say to that Chuck?”

“I say! Get your jackets on you boys and girls, it’s going to be a tough one!”

“This is Urban Terror news signing off.”

Silence

“…Shit, Jack, are they attacking the station?”

“No, they could be survivors, go check.”

“Fuck you! You should go check.”

“I’m not going to go check – did they just break the window?”

“I told you to board that up yesterday!”

“SURVIVORS? THESE ARE NOT SURVIVORS.”
“Jack! Jack! Shit! Jack!”

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